Soften

At this stage in the game, the hardest part of parenting--for me--is being the bad guy.

So when we told Will no books before bedtime tonight as he did things two-year-olds do (including but not limited to jumping on our bed like a monkey butt naked, refusing to put on pajamas, and overusing the word "no"), we shuffled to the family room as he cried for us from his bed.

"Want to read books mommeeeeeeee!"

We went back in, said we were sorry the evening ended this way, but we stuck to our guns. We gave hugs and kisses, and we again shuffled back to the family room.

Why is it so hard to do the right thing? Why is it so difficult to make points, teach lessons? And why must this only be the beginning?

So when the cries turned to just little moans, I broke down. I crawled into his bed. I nuzzled into his pillow right along side him, and I rubbed his back until he fell asleep.

Because this mom has a soft spot, and while Will is quick to forgive at two, I know he won't be so much so at sixteen. It's then that I hope he remembers how much his mom loves him.

It's then that I hope I remember when to stay strong, and when to soften.

Good goes 'round

I find myself walking a little lighter these days--a nice change from the past few weeks--and since it most definitely isn't from the five pounds or so I have defying gravity out over my feet (and the unmentioned number of pounds that have spread themselves everywhere else), I pondered what it might be.

Patience seems to have found me this school year. In situations with students that would normally make my blood pressure sprint to a boiling point, I remain irrationally calm. In fact, I am so irrationally calm, I haven't written a single referral for discipline. I'd say I generally average thirty referrals a school year.

For all the rock 'n roll late night parties this baby seems to be having in my belly, could he be the calming source? What's the lesson he has been sent to teach me? Only time will answer this theory...

Maybe it's just "my year." Teachers go through cycles of on and off years, and in the off years, you sometimes survive purely because you know you're due an "on" one soon.

And yet this scenario should have me completely freaking out:

(that would be stacks of Valentines to send to pen pals in France, grades to enter, maps to puffy paint for my blind student, and eight weeks worth of lesson plans that need to be compiled and clear for the poor soul taking over for me).

I owe part of this sense of calm to a reconnection with my oldest friend, who has helped me clear out in two phone conversations what would have probably taken a month of yoga classes. Just like polishing the black spots off of good silver, she has shined me up quite nicely and cleared out the gunk.

I owe the other part to being keenly aware of my breath as of late (and it's not just because there's a cantaloupe in there restricting it!). When you notice that your inhales drag up your shoulders, tense up your neck, and become stuck in the back of your throat, you immediately make the adjustments to roll your shoulders back, tuck your chin into your chest to release the neck, and open up the mouth to sigh a good, long, cleansing, releasing, let-it-all-go and give-it-to-the-universe exhale.

When we breathe in goodness, perhaps we also put out goodness.

Good goes 'round.

Maybe that's why it's an "on" year.

You can make it an "on" month by becoming a follower of the blog. Three lucky winners will receive Valentine's deliciousness in the mail. You have until January 31.

Pinterest

It's been my time waster for about a month now. Greg used to harp, "Get off facebook!" and now it's, "Stop pinning!"

But I'm learning so much! And I wanted to share.

Things Pinterest has taught me:

• I should have been taking weekly pregnancy shots with my kid holding up a chalkboard stating how many weeks we are. Or spelling out the baby's name in blocks over my belly. 
• My friends love cats. 
• The cupcake trend is alive and well.
• My friends love recipes that involve cheese. 
• You can do just about anything with a strawberry for a party. 
• My friends and I have big dreams for dream houses. And vacations. 
• There is irony in pinning a cheesy recipe right after you pin a girl with ripped abs to your "Thinspiration" board. 
• I haven't been on etsy in weeks. 
• Need to get grease out of a shirt? Chalk. Dirty microwave? Bowl of vinegar. Crayon on the wall? Hairspray. Okay I made that one up. 
• Who knew laundry rooms could be so...chic?!
• If you do 50 jumping jacks and 40 astronaut jumps you'll be finished working out in 5 minutes and look like every girl on my "Thinspiration" board. 
• I have tried two new hairstyles since joining Pinterest. And I don't do much with my hair. Ever.
• Paper pom flowers are all the rage. 
• For as happy and fun as Pinterest is, there are still angry people. Knitting pattern with broken link? Someone is ranting and raving in the comments. Dude, it's a knitting pattern.
• Double shower curtains are totally in.
• You can do just about anything with stuff from IKEA.
• Should you really boil a can of condensed milk for 2 hours?! 
• S'Mores are constantly inspiring desserts.
• When friends without kids post photos of nurseries, I wonder if they have a secret.
• I can't wait to drink again. There are some damned good adult beverage recipes pinned.
• I had to go back to the Fischer Homes design studio to change my options on the new house because of things I saw on Pinterest.
• And my favorite Pinterest truth: 

The truth is..

...I'm not always present. Or happy. Or bright.

I've been having a tough time lately (and from the blogs I've been reading it appears I'm not alone). For starters, I feel like a whale. That's where it begins. It ends somewhere around keeping a house clean for pop-up showings--a house covered in muddy paw prints on the floors and boogers on the walls (we're not potty training here; we are tissue training!)--and the melange of issues in between, well, they just make me want to go to Sam's club, buy a five pound bag of gummy bears and a jug of vodka and try those "drunken gummy bears" I keep seeing on pinterest.

I saw a bumper sticker today: "Be optimistic! It's much more pleasant." And optimistic I generally am.

But I'm also human, and sometimes humans wallow in a big puddle of tears and chocolate ice cream and funfetti cookies and just need someone to look at them and say, "Go ahead love. This too shall pass."

And I, dear reader, have incredible friends; friends who send cards to your house, chocolates to your classroom, and texts of encouragement to your phone; friends who make you cry with laughter to replace tears of frustration; friends who stop what they're doing, hug you tight, and whisper, "This too shall pass."

Gratitude in my heart tonight, for my friends. This heart is beaming a bit brighter.

Yum

With nesting in full force and a day off to enjoy it, I was a cooking fool today.

My French I kids have their first Treat Day tomorrow (that's what I've been calling their midterm and final exams for years now--takes away some of the anxiety, and they know they have something to look forward to instead of total dread), so I tried Funfetti cookies. Um. They are da bomb. Diggity.

And with Will tugging at my sweatshirt to cook him lunch, I whipped up some homemade mac-n-cheese. It's so freaking easy--and minus all the sodium and chemicals--that you will rarely pick up that blue box again.

So both recipes are below...happy nesting! Oh wait, that's just me.

Funfetti Cookies
1 box Funfetti cake mix
2 eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 container favorite frosting

Mix cake mix, eggs, and oil together in a bowl. Roll into 1" sized balls and place 2" apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten out the balls with your fingers so they are 1/4"-1/2" thick. Bake at 375 for 8 minutes, or until the outside edges are lightly browned. Allow them to cool on the sheet for a minute, then transfer to a cooling rack. Once cookies are completely cool, frost. Yum.

Homemade Mac-n-Cheese
3/4 cup dried pasta
3 cups water
1 tbsp. butter
1 tsp. flour
1/3 cup milk
1 cup cheese, grated
salt to taste

Boil your pasta in the water until tender. Drain and leave in collander. In pan, melt your butter over medium-low heat, and whisk in the flour. Let brown for about 30 seconds. Whisk in milk and keep stirring until the butter-flour-milk mixture thickens. Add cheese and continue to whisk until melted. Stir pasta back into cheese sauce, taste for salt (it's an excuse, I know).

Parenthood: Redefining "world" one mom and dad at a time

Parenthood does a really good job of letting you know that it's not about you anymore.

There are obvious moments, of course...like when you are handed your child for the first time in the delivery room. There are often too many emotions in that moment to pick out just one to feel, but when you look back, you realize that "This is now my world" was one of them.

And then there are less obvious moments. Greg and I both epiphanied this past Christmas as we watched Will tear through his presents--and everyone else's--that this holiday isn't about us anymore. 

And then there are hit you in the face moments. It's a rare occasion in the last two and a half years that I have slept to the hour of eight, much less past it. So on a day off this morning, I shouldn't have been surprised to find myself watching Will turn up my clock radio to full volume, hand me two spoons, and declare it a dance party...at 6 a.m. 

Yet as any parent would tell you, these moments now make your world. They redefine love and patience and priority. Nothing is taken away from those old definitions; much like your heart, they just continue to grow.

I was well aware of my priorities this morning, when I took my spoons, put two feet on the floor, hoisted my ever growing self out of bed, and danced around my bedroom with an incredible dance partner. Even if it was to Rihanna. And before coffee. 

That's my world.

It's good to be home!

What do you think? I owe the fabulousness of this new blog to Jenn from The Cutest Blog on the Block. I gave her a name and colors I liked, and this is what she came up with on the first try. L-O-V-E.

I am so excited to have a space to continue to share what it is I love best: remaining in the moment, choosing happiness, and shining as brightly as I can.

While there won't be any postings every single day (quitting At least...that's my intention cold turkey was rough--I missed curling up in my chair every night with my laptop! Oh wait...I'm still doing that...only now I'm consumed by all things pinterest!), I look forward to resuming this fantastic form of therapy for my soul once again.

You can find the links to the old blog at the top of the page, as well as a new space--you--that I am so hoping you will take advantage of.

To help celebrate the new home, become a "follower" on the right, and be entered into a drawing for some yummy stuff--like a housewarming gift for a new neighbor. You have until the end of January.

It's good to be home. It's good to be surrounded by you all once again.