A Dose of Humility

Here's the thing:

I drink too much coffee. I eat too many sweets.

I raise my voice at my kids, and on a daily basis, I think I've failed at parenting.

I worry about money, the future, and whether or not I'm really actually great at anything.

I second guess decisions.

I fight with my husband.

I let clean laundry sit in baskets for more than a week because putting it away is just another effing thing to do.

I watch far too much TV.

I enjoy Family Guy--and laugh too hard when I shouldn't--way too often.

I rehash events from the past in my head over and over again.

I complain too often, about things like laundry, and the price of day care, and how tired I am.

I feed Will hot dogs and macaroni and cheese minimum, once a week. Reid gets far less homemade baby fare than Will did.

And I feel guilty about all of it.

I switched to wine because beer made me feel bloated.

And maybe I drink too much of it.

I don't devour books anymore.

I curse like a truck driver--a kind one who still says "please" and "thank you"--but a mother effing truck driver.

And I don't care if it's unbecoming.

And sometimes I do it in front of my kids.

I let Will watch Madagascar, or Cars, or Curious George, just so I can do a load of laundry I'll never fold.

Or hide in the bathroom for five GD minutes to try and catch my breath.

I write blogs that I never post.

I text in my car, and not just at stop lights and parking spaces.

I flip through facebook on my iPhone while I feed my baby.

And as I sit here, with the travel channel on my TV (travel? Ha!) and my 3rd cup of coffee in hand, and the book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" sitting off to the side, I can't help but take a big, heavy, load bearing sigh.

And be effing okay with every single one of those things.

And I share it all because I think you should be okay with it, too.

We're in a time when being happy and positive and present and pinterest perfect is trendy, and there are articles, and people, and blogs (ahem) that preach it. And tell you how to do it. And make you feel even worse if you just.can't.get.there.

And I just wanted to say, it's okay to be everything but those things.

Wallow in them, love them, embrace them.

Hallelujah for a little bit of humility.