Last Monday we realized that our evenings were neither happy nor bright.
After Will chucked his ketchup smothered cheeseburger at Greg and proceeded to whack him on the arm, and he ran from time out so many times (despite my best Supernanny attempts) that we resorted to a quick bath and early bedtime (7:00), we sat in the family room staring at each other.
"Where in the world did we go wrong tonight?"
And honestly, our evenings had been like this for more than just a night.
It didn't take long in our rehashing of events to realize that we were sucked into technology instead of our kids. Phones, computers, TV--in our attempt to relax and let our brains veg, we were actually making our lives far more difficult.
So it was decided: starting at 6:00 until after bath time, we will spend the hours technology free, every evening.
What. A. Difference.
Seriously, it was like night and day with Will (thank goodness Reid isn't to temper tantrum stage yet). It's like the first rule in parenting: if you give your kid positive attention, he won't seek it in a negative way. Our evenings are, dare I say it? Pleasant. If Will does end up in time out, he sits there until the timer goes off, apologizes for what he has done, and we move on with the evening.
This isn't to say our evenings are now perfect.
But it took a huge commitment to acknowledging we sucked at being present to make the change.
Could you turn off all technology for a couple of hours every night? Do you already do this? Do you notice a difference in yourself and your kids?
Great job KK!! Good for you for looking inward and trying to come up with a solution. It think for many we get caught up in it's "a problem with the child." He had a bad day, or terrible 2/3's (wink). But so often the problem is us. I think you're so right. We don't realize what we're doing, or not doing. We did Tech Free Tuesday's last year, once the weather was nice and we could spend some time outside together. We haven't done it for a while, and I think it's something we need to revisit. It's more difficult now that Charlie's in school. Somehow it's more complicated. Even with kindergarten. Just carving out that simple 20-30 minutes for homework. But it's so important. Good for you. Thanks for the reminder to put the sh*t down and focus on the kids.
ReplyDeleteTotally agreed. The other night, Mac was in the bath while 1) I played on my iPhone and 2) Dad played on the iPad. Then we got upset when he dumped a bucket of water onto the floor, from the tub. It's like he was screaming for our attention the only way he knew how! I know he rarely acts up at daycare becuase they are engaging him CONSTANTLY throughout the day, and then on weekends we will sometimes wonder why he is being such a crazy kid. You nailed it on the head; he just needs our attention. AND, I'm glad to hear we aren't the only ones with a boy who loves to throw food. Geesh, it happens nearly ever night for us.
ReplyDeleteA wise woman (Laura G!) suggested that to us when James decided to stop sleeping through the night. Looking back, it was probably b/c that was the only time he could truly get our attention. Now we turn the TV off after the Wheel of Fortune theme song (James loves it!) and spend about an hour tech free while we wind down. It is such a small commitment and pays back in many wonderful nights. Congrats on unlocking the secret! Now on to the next toddler seceret that we all will encounter . . .
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